I’ve Learned

recently i’ve learned some things about myself 

things i didn’t want to know

things i wish weren’t true

and things that made a whole portion of my life make sense

you see my life is divided into portions 

portions of me that i pull at and twist into little anxiety tissues in my therapists office 

portions that i pour my energy into while ignoring the potion of emotions i left in the back of my mind

sometimes my day is full of mixing portions of my potions into shampoo and lotions to soothe the current problem needing a solution 

but sometimes i let other people pour their potions into my heart

i let their oils contaminate 

i can feel it in my skin

i can hear it slowly tearing away pieces of me, portions of me

portions i love, pieces i hold onto when im scared

i’ve learned that when i let other peoples portions invade my own, the pieces of myself become something else

i see things i didn’t want to see

i remember that ive locked away portions of myself 

for my own good

i don’t know if its a good thing to let my potions mix with others

i don’t know if the pieces i locked away will ever hurt less

but i do know that i am not a static being

i change and grow with time

my portions adapt and become something i never thought i could be

i am not the pieces that i thought defined me

i am not just my portions 

i am learning and leaving behind what i always thought to be true

i am a mixing pot of all that i experience in the world

and i am glad to share my portions with you