Jack and the Giant: How it really happened

Once upon a time, in a faraway land,

There was a Giant in a castle, whose life was bland.

 There wasn’t really too much for him to do.

And while this didn’t bother him, it might to you,

But that’s because you haven’t experienced what he’s been through…

One day, he returned to the place he can call his own,

 Only to realize that he was not alone…

With his enlarged nostrils, he picked up the scent,

Of a small human boy, possibly of English descent.

The Giant was terrified, and felt like he would die,

For it was humans who forced him to live in the sky.

But only after they took the rest of the land below,

Constantly making him pack up his things, making him live on-the-go.

The Giant moved from the North, South, East, and West

And up until now, he felt like he could finally rest.

But the boy’s presence sparked something within the Giant,

And he felt threatened once more.

He thought that maybe the world wasn’t enough for the humans,

Since now the intruder barged through his front door.

“I must scare him away; terrify him to the core,

He needs to be scared more than ever before,

I can’t let him know that the fear dwells within me,

I CAN’T LET HIM KNOW, I CAN’T LET HIM SEE!”

The Giant thought and thought, and then had an epiphany.

“I know the words that I must bellow,

I must not show any pity to this young, audacious fellow.”

And thus he yelled the words that would linger through time,

Forever written on the pages of a fraudulent rhyme.

 “Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum.

I smell the blood of an Englishman,

Be he living, or be he dead,

I’ll grind his bones to mix my bread!”

The boy stood rebellious and stuck out his chest.

He taunted the Giant, saying he’d complete his quest.

That he’d steal everything, from his spoons to the Goose in its nest

Listing everything valuable, and that he’d take the rest.

The Giant thought this was the dumbest thing he’d ever heard

But little did he know that the boy was good to his word…

During the next few nights, the boy snuck in,

Stole what he wished, with a sly, little grin.

But eventually the Giant caught on to his routine,

 And as he followed the boy, he saw a metallic sheen.

It was his precious harp, descending with the boy.

“BE CAREFUL,” the Giant yelled. “THAT’S NOT A TOY!”

As they climbed down the beanstalk, the Giant went nice and slow,

For the stalk wasn’t very sturdy, waving to-and-fro.

But the Giant then realized that the boy was chopping it down,

And then he fell from the sky, and crashed just outside town.

The people all gathered around the body of the beast.

The boy was waiting in excitement; he thought there’d be a feast.

They would honor his efforts, or his valiance at least.

But in that moment, the crowd just stared at the deceased.

The boy justified his actions, exclaiming “He threatened to kill me!”

But only the Giant knew the truth to this story.

The crowd believed his lies - his take on the tale,

Just like many others believe the legend of Moby Dick by Ishmael.

The boy walked away as the crowd began to part,

As the Giant laid there, not a beat in his heart.

The boy took his loot, his harp and his lair,

And the Giant was dead, this story unfair.