jail

My feelings were locked up in a jail cell I couldn’t share what i thought or felt because i was ashamed of what people were going to say. Being a young women in the society filled with hoes and good girls, then those teenage punks that parents allowed them to do whatever they want.i felt as if i was trapped from all these titles not knowing what i wanted to be know where i wanted to stand with people. I wanted to have my life planned out for me i wanted my fairytale life that i always thought it would come out as. I wanted to be the good girl that my mom wanted the one that was the caption of the cheer team real good christian straight A student , helping around the house , but no matter how hard i tried it seemed i was never good enough, apart of me wanted  to have the guys like me chasing after me knowing i was always wanted by someone for something , even knowing that they were not happy, but i always had that part of me that wanted to run in the streets smoking a good herb, graffiti on walls  drinking in abanded homes taking long car trips to LA. As i sit here with my hair in braids wearing a jean jacket dirty high top converse and my crop top that shows my belly butto i realize that i will never be just one of those people and i will never satisfy anyone but knowing that i am a  young teenageer