January 1st

It's you again. 

You keep consuming my thoughts. 

Leave me alone!

You keep bringing guilt back into my conscience. 

Everywhere I go, I envision you. 

Your imperfections I viewed as perfections  

Your infectious laughter. 

When I drive, I see your face in the mirror staring at me with a look of pure disgust in your eyes. 

When I hear a song, I form your face in my thoughts. 

You won't disappear. 

You can't stay here!

We are two flames that need to burn on our own, not as one. 

Stay out of my mind. 

Stop revisiting me. 

I sit alone and bang my fists on the walls in fury at myself. 

The sting I feel afterwards forms a sense of equality in my brain on your behalf. 

Tears will start to develop and drip down my face just like raindrops on my window after a rainstorm. 

I know what I did was wrong but let me cherish what we had. 

Leave me alone! 

You are a force fire to be reckoned with. 

I cannot control your flames, only a warrior could. 

I am still weak. You weakened me even further. 

Leave me alone to blossom and mature into a beautiful flower. 

You are holding me back from this. 

That's the way life goes you see

we leave behind those we love to enable them to thrive 

even if it kills us 

this was the lesson I learned on January 1st