Jealousy

Jealousy is the worst trait and...

Fate never gives us the perfect date so...

we learn to hate, rather than love...

or lust things of meaning equal to dust,,,

A fist to my face, Erase every thought I ever sought to think up.

Scoffed like an old pair of shoes, in the corner of a room.

I'm...I'm speechless because, you left a hole in my throat as you clawed your way down to my spine to steal my heart, so that the next person would have to rewind me back to the start.  Before you poured black ink through my lungs and flung me around like a rag doll.

The fall I took for you broke my legs because I'm still standing here unable to walk away from you, It twisted my arms because although you don't deserve anything from me, My arms are still reaching for you

AND it  scratched my side because the moment i hit the ground you were torn from me.  I went deaf blocking out every bad thing my friends ever told me about you...and I was conquered by defeat when i lost my feat and fell by your side.  Alive partially but partially part of me is in the tears from my pillow that evaporated to my ceiling, feeling the moisture in the air wanting to rip out my hair, Or buy a bottle of nair trying to remove you from my mind at the same time.

Alive partially because part of me is in the words you spoke every time you took my breath away,  Part of me was left on the ground every time you swept me off of my feet, Part of me is not here mentally because I spend so much time day dreaming about how great things could be.  Unable to accept reality, Fatality slowly taking over my soul as it folds on itself trying to protect me from you, Who no matter how hard I try to keep my distance,  Resistance always seems nearly impossible.

You see I remember back when you had me at Hello, before the OH! was dropped every time you stroked me deeper into hell and left me.  Explaining that my body was too hot to handle so you dug dimples into my back because that was the only part of me that was cold.  My back was the only place my heart couldn't heat up because it had been stabbed too many times, in the same line I call my spine by the same knife, nearly taking my life with each strike.

But I survived and God revived me and advised me not to place my love in these people, but in Him.

Which brings me back to you... The one who left me in hell with my broken back and twisted arms and my scratched side and deaf ears, with my stabbed back and my feet unattached, just praying that my broken heart still has enough hope to believe that God will  come and deliver me from the curse that I've been placed with on this earth... named You.