Jealousy

Is this what jealousy feels like?

I feel sick to my stomach and my head hurts

The tears threaten to force their way past the walls that I’ve built

And I feel guilty for feeling this way.

Jealousy is ugly and it doesn’t suit me

Yet as I hear you talk about how much she knows you

As I hear you talk about having to steal her away to spend time

As I hear you say that you’ve had so little time with her…

And you say a number…so much more than the time we’ve spent together.

I used to say that I didn’t need to be jealous because

If I had to be jealous then you wouldn’t be my man

But I’ve been questioning that lately, questioning if you’re mine

It drives me insane and I can’t speak

I can’t argue one way or the other, because I want you to be happy

But how can I let you be happy when I hurt so much?

Is it wrong to want my own happiness?

Am I taking away yours when I feel like you want to be with her instead?

This must be what jealousy feels like

I don’t like it.