Jimmy Brown

“Singin’ hey la de da

Oh lah de de

Oh de ow don do and ali axen free oh

I can run faster than Jimmy Brown

I’m the king of the mountain and

You’ll never get me down”

She had chopped chocolate hair

Bangs that kissed her eyebrows

Wet puppy eyes

And fresh young lips.

Her pink flowered shirts and

Stiffened Osh-Kosh overalls

Were slid on by her mother above

Velcro shoes

Perfected for recess of all kinds.

She grasped glittered ponies

And warm summer rocks

Sand and grass filled her shoes

Song and music was every single day

All she had to know was

1 and 1 was 2

Let’s go to the zoo

Cows say moo

She only cried over

Crusted sandwiches 

Dead hamsters

Mean sisters

Cruel elementary boys

Cut hands

Scripted teachers

She could be anything.

She could fly

Let her wings scrape and spread clouds

I know her

I remember her

I am her.

I would tell her, if I could, 

‘Slow down, child

You’re here one moment and it’s gone, child.

Being this way is scarier than what’s under your bed, child.’

I do not get to waste time

Muddy my denim

Feed the bees

Slide on plastic

Chase a dog…

I sit.

90 degrees

6 hours

Fill my head

1/6 is worth

The other 5 exhaust me.

I sweat because I’m scared

Not because I lost a game of hopscotch

I cry because it’s all too much

Not because my sand-house fell to pieces 

I am heavy

With anxiety

The clock moves like flame on paper

Time chokes me with sinister hands

All I hear is selfish standoffish hissing

Perfectly planned futures

Drowned, drugged sadness

I want to hide

Cover myself in youth 

Like a cloak

I know. I can’t.

I just pray

The road ahead is trailed with lilacs and broken glass

Is left behind.

And I don’t need a second time around.

I just pray 

Ill smile at my gray strands

And caverns of wrinkles 

Look at my child and say

‘Slow down. Do what you wish.

Be free.’

I’ll never forget when chains

Didn’t hold me down

When life was unbridled

I’ll always carry that

Even if it’s just a coin pocket in my heart.

“I’m full grown now 

On my own

Oh how I wish 

I could go back home

And play all day

With my old friends

Why does childhood have to end?”