A JOURNEY I MUST TAKE

I can feel them creeping in,

cold as ice leaving me trembling.

Their breath is death

and their taste is hell.

I can see them now, vividly

as they mock and laugh,

teasing off any trace of hope i had.

I wish i could ignore their stares

but like ticks on cows, they are glued to me.

I can smell their courage from my bed

as i close my eyes and try to ignore them

but even in the abyss of my nightmares, they stare.

I say, leave me be, please

but their taunting never stops, it never leaves.

I wish i could not taste their mockery of my life,

how am compared to frozen ice.

You are stagnant, they say,

living only for when you'll be leaving.

These thoughts are tattoed in my eyelids

for everytime i close my eyes, am attacked by memories

and they seem to be working with my entire body,

aiming at paralyzing me, and men, am i weak and lazy

but i know a place where i can be free,

a place i must go to finally be me,

where mistakes are past and there are no obligations but my joy,

a place where i can be once again just a teenage boy.

Yes, pack up my beloved soul, we must flee.

Write me a note, my hands, write to my family

that soon i shall depart and be free,

soon they shall look for my plastic smile and miss,

for am going, taking every part of me too,

the fake, the real, even the secrets you never knew.

I leave never to return, never to be disturbed.