Judgement Day

I was never confident 

unlike the girls I knew. 

Always scared and afraid

never knowing 

what they might say. 

And it got to the point 

where it would even effect my day.

I’d change how I act.

Change what I’d say. 

Because of that fear. 

Fear of judgment day. 

But judgement day was everyday. 

And it still is today. 

However,

things change.

People change. 

Outlooks on life change.

It took a lot in me 

and it took a lot of pain.

A father who doesn’t act like one

and a boy who shattered my heart 

time and time again.

But finally,

something changed.

Me. 

Realization occurred

That I don’t need others

to determine my worth.

Through endless anxiety and pain

I learned something that I wish I had when I was younger,

self love.

And I couldn’t be happier 

knowing people judge me.

But now am able to fulfill myself with respect 

without needing it from others 

because I know I deserve it.

Judgement day is everyday. 

But now at least I have the means to know

it doesn’t matter what they say