Junior Year
Fresh 16 my life was great, license, car, fuel in my tank.
A simple question asked of my mother flipped my world like to fucking other
Her eyes told me the answer, the one I did not want to hear
and this began the best and yet worst of my year
To the doctor we went, one I had seen before
Some images taken before she would even walk in the door
Again my mom with those eyes, my fate had been sealed
She grabbed hold my hand and Jesus the wheel
A whirlwind of words
Did she just say save her nipple
What in the CRAP do you mean MASTECTOMY
I am 16 how the hell did this happen to me
I sat there listening, watching them speak
Flipping of pages, calls being made
Walked out being told I would have to start school late
Again my mom’s eyes gave her away
She hugged me so gently and said It will be okay
The car ride was quiet, my mom “staying strong”
She finally said to cry would not be wrong
I looked at her so fast, she was taken back
I have no tears my mom God has my back
She was floored
No words
No look in her eyes
She just looked ahead and kept on with the drive
What seemed like an eternity passed in that car
Finally, FINALLY her mouth was ajar
The words that fell out
Just hung in the air
Sis, your bravery is something none can compare
What an easy thing to tell to someone who is hurting
But here you are with GOD and NO FEAR
Maybe this won’t be such a bad year
You there, reading this feeling pity for me
Losing my breast was nothing you’ll see
The summer faded so quickly
My surgery drew near
The love of my life at this time did appear
6 inches in size, the tumor they found
My nipple intact and some unseen breast tissue too
So really I looked as normal as a mastectomy patient could hope to
The days that I sat stuck in m home
Passed rather quickly with my bestie and beau on the phone
Finally back to my life I could go
High school, sports, dances and work
What happens next is nothing but absurd
A regular teenage squabble between friends
Next thing you know I have lost my best friend
The one who has been my bestie since four
No longer was ringing me or knocking on my door
This will pass I keep telling my self every night thru the tears
My boyfriend did his best to comfort me thru my Junior year
Snapchat streak broken, got ready for HoCo alone
Then came the holidays and still no call on my phone
Mom watched me cry my heart out
And then just like that
I thought fuck all this shit, she can’t have me back
I fought a huge battle and came out my head held high
This little blonde demon was no longer worth my tears
If she was willing to let go of all those years
Then it must not have been real
The time that had past began to just heal
So to my mom, my boyfriend and to the real friends of mine
I say thank you for helping me leave the imposters behind
Much love to the ones, that held to me tight
Without you and the Lord I would have lost this fight.
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