Just...

February 26, 2012

There was a time when I was able to hold your heart like fragile secrets in the warmth of my hands and now, sweltering, I am forced to let it drop.
You and I are no longer compatible so if you will, leave please
Before I take back words I mean and pretend your absence doesn’t break my soul in pieces. Please, just go… before I am forced to pretend I am okay with the deception constantly dripping from your throat.
I am unable to heal from the times before but for you I was willing
So this is my last letter to you, my love
For goodbyes mean nothing to the chalk outline of your promises
Forgiveness seems to become a fools game and this fool isn’t tired of losing… This fool is tired of playing alone
I must apologize for having you believe the pieces you stepped on as you walked away
Weren’t the broken pieces of the words I was unable to say to you those nights you came to me unable to find your own lost consonants
And constellations in the fog of a broken city left us…breathless, wordless, perfect
I will miss you, but please… go
There aren’t enough minutes in a day to erase the fist size guilt in my gut
Because I know… I will not return
So who am I now?
Trapped between the person I am now and the woman you held so innocently at a safe close…distance? I can’t be her anymore…
Too still to move without startling the past I think it’s best if you leave
Please… just go
Before I have to walk away from you first
I will hold your hand and walk with you to the edge, but you never asked…just told me to stay back and wait for you to return.
My lover, my heart can not take another game of hide & seek for what I seek you are convinced you should hide behind eyes that seek for artificial certainty in secrets of women who want to cocoon their insecurities in the hole you intended to fill…
Just, go, please, I am too weak to leave, refuse to stay but please, just take the decision out of my hands, these cold, dead like things that are more used to putting the pieces back
Blood cracked fingertips, taught to hold broken pieces in hopes of repair instead of throwing them away…
You, my lover, are broken and I can no longer allow you to enchant my reflection to wait until you return
I wait on the widow’s walk of the Bronx on a rusted fire escape listening concourse calls and how it whispers that our time…. is up
So please… Just go
I am not trying to hurt you, but I will, if it means I will have the opportunity to remember, me. The inability to believe in your ability to mend the fragments of the conversation we never had, has given me the courage to ask
“Please… Just…Leave”

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Comments (13)

RoryNCAug 19, 2017

And this poem is reason #58179381 why staying single and putting your trust in God is the best option! Lol, it was a great poem nonetheless. It touched me greatly and I hope that your life is better now that this person has left. Will definitely read your other poems if you've posted any!

NYartist7Feb 13, 2017

Wow. This is really great.

Charles MuchoriJul 15, 2016

Rarely, very rarely, i come across a poem that not only speaks to me but also hits me so hard, I swear i can't breath again. Your poem is a life changer and i promise i will always remember it. I'm disappointed in myself, for not finding the perfect words with which to express just how awesome and amazing this is.

dianatsurkan45Jul 21, 2015

Oh my god! This is so good. I can not contain my excitment for this poem. This poem touched me, and the line that really was conspicious in my eyes was when it said, "Just, go, please, I am too weak to leave, refuse to stay but please, just take the decision out of my hands, these cold, dead like things that are more used to putting the pieces back".It is just such a powerhouse poem, that is so desperate and vulnurable. My God, I wish I could write heartbreak the way you do. Remarkable job.

Maritza Ruby AltamiranoJan 19, 2015

I love this poem!!!!

Ebony The WriterOct 16, 2014

"I will miss you, but please...go" , my favorite line. :) Beautifu words and beautiful poem.

edgar450Jul 15, 2014

Good poem:)

smr5Jan 16, 2014

I absolutely love this! You are truly a poet.

QVNov 23, 2013

Love can break the hearts of many and renew their world... Charming, yet sad piece :) Keep on sharing. Q.V.

Pearly-PearlNov 12, 2013

Thank you so much for your kind words! There is so much going on in each of our lives and sometimes its okay to walk away and not feel like you arent able to maintain strength in a damaging situation. We are better than thatmuch lovePearl

KSOrchid39Nov 12, 2013

"Just..." was a very moving piece for me to read. My favorite line was "You, my lover, are broken and I can no longer allow you to enchant my reflection to wait until you return". I identify with your poem so much in my life because I am also enduring a man in my life (whom I am not with at the moment), but he is stuck between loving me and another girl. Your piece made me rethink how I should change my life for the better. Thanks so much, Pearly-Pearl!

Renaissance BrotherJun 9, 2013

This is a very touching poem. I could feel every word of it. Thanks for sharing your amazing poem.

jwienerJul 27, 2012

This is an amazing poem, and my favorite line is "my lover, my heart can not take another game of hide and seek" because this line speaks to the fact that life is not a game, and you can't quit and come back to it at another time, although some people are too afraid to see life for what it truly is. This poem also has great imagery such as in the line "deception constantly dripping from your throat" because it gives a clear image of the points you are trying to get across in this poem.