Just a Chemist

Every year, every semester, every month the same thought runs through my mind:

I need to change, grow, evolve, or just learn to be a better person.

I need to realize that I am good enough,

I need to be more open towards other people,

I need to be less harsh on myself.

Some days, as I walk through the halways of school, I think I can change the world,

I feel hopeful that maybe I can finally break out of my shell, and be comfortable around people.

That never happens though, for I am just a chemist.

Just a nerdy kid who gave up a typicall social life for math and chemistry,

wondering if it will one day pay off,

wondering if it was worth the loneliness,

wondering if the isolation was necessary. 

At heart, I am always just a chemist, going back to school isn't a chore,

It's going back home, to something I know I can do well,

going back to the one thing I have complete confidence in, 

but always wondering, about the life that could have been.