Just Different

She could taste the bitter copper on her tongue, the blood that seeped passed the gash she made on her lip as she bit into it harder and harder. She knew without looking in the mirror that she was a mess; her face was puffy, her eyes rimmed red, and the tears tracked her face in messy spirals. How could you love someone so much, and still have it never be enough? It seemed impossible all those months ago that this moment would arrive, where she would have to face the fact that he may never want to see her again, and that would be within good reason. She sat there, surrounded by the quiet. The more she thought about him on the other end of those text messages the heavier she felt. She knew she was wrong, she knew that she had hurt him. It hadn't been what she had planned. But the moment had escaped her; silent in its arrival, destructive in its leave. Today has been a day that she wouldn't soon forget.

It was as uneventful as it could possibly get. Text messages- words on a screen. They were not his voice, and they will never be able to build into them the pain that they were trying to express. This wasn't how it was suppose to end. It was suppose to be different. She wasn't sure different how, just different. It should have taken a different course, there was a path that she did not turn when she was meant to and now she was locked into place, there was no turning back. There was only forward.

She hoped that he understood that. She could only hope that one day, he will have his happily ever after despite the time she took from him, because while she may not have ended up being his Cinderella, she was still out there and he was still turning the pages to his own love story. It just so happened that theirs ended a different way than they had planned. Plans don't always follow through, and many times it's for the best. Maybe he will meet his princess tomorrow, and because she is not there to hold him back he can chase after his true love when the time comes. She liked to think that was true. She liked to think that he will continue to smile, hopefully sometime soon.

She didn't want it to end this way, but this is the way it must end. Good things come in time but so do bad things. Perhaps that is the way life was meant to happen. Perhaps that was the way they were suppose to happen. This lifetime has been cruel to all of us, this life is so chaotic. But if there was one thing that she was happy to have ever happened; it was this: this time, if only for a fleeting moment, he had found her.