just a heart attack over ash

a heart attack over ash
this deep abyss I cannot see
fingers of despair strangling me

a heart attack over ash
understanding painful grasps
tears mingle - wonder what to ask

this heart attack over ash
this cool metal, freezing skin
shooting daggers far within
dreaming of bridges glittered in rainbow 

my heart attack over ash
suffocation by will
this blessing, a hand of death 
bent over my head, kissing my neck 

oh but this heart attack over ash
means nothing more than my sins
means nothing more than I'll never see you again
selfishness I used as a shield, you shuddered your last breath enclosed in my arms

this heart attack over ash
a scar sketched on my chest
a metal heart with pale dust
these last remains of my best friend

but it's just a heart attack over ash