but how can I breathe when I'm drowning?
Drowning in every thought shouldn't think
In every tear, I long to shed
In every cut, I itch to make
How can I breathe when I can't control myself?
Slowly making my way towards the razors
crying because I know I don't really need them
Sickened with the satisfaction I feel when I lose the battle in my head
Just Get Better
But how can I get better if sick is all I know?
How can I get better if I can't control the demons?
The Demons in my mind
the demons in my razor blade
the demons in the revolver my dad keeps under the bed
Just get help.
But how can I get help if I'm too afraid of letting you know?
If help means hospitals
If help means losing everything I have worked so hard for
Just stay calm
But how can I stay calm if I don't even know what calm is?
I'm not even calm when I'm asleep
because even then I'm fighting something
fighting something real
something I can only see in my own mind
you tell me to just breath
to just get better
to get help
to stay calm
Let me tell you something.
I'm in a lot of pain
I know you don't understand how I feel
No, I don't say it out loud
But maybe if you listened to the words I don't say
maybe if you just listen I wouldn't be drowning,
I wouldn't be sick,
I could get help,
I could know what calm is.
You tell me all of the things that I need,
But maybe you need to