Just so you know

(poems go here) Just so you know I will never be understood. My emotions can flip from ecstatic to pissed. I want to have tons of friends, and be a busy body, I don’t want to move from my bed. I need silence; I need time for me, Now I am lonely. The friends I used to spend time with, I now notice, have zero self-worth. Only a man can make them feel sufficient, And only a man can manage their time. Before a “friend”, now just an “acquaintance”. Many call me mean, I call me annoyed. I have no patience, But I want to be heard. I want to be recognized, But do not want the spotlight. I simply cannot take a compliment, I have grown to only know criticisms. I hate awkward moments, Although I usually create them. Sometimes I don’t feel like talking, Not on the phone, not through text, Not even to my mom…. This makes me feel like a terrible person. I feel like I treat the ones I love most, The worst. I don’t mean to, I don’t know why. Am I a bad person? Heartless? Mental illness? Just stress? ..Very disheartened… I’m sure I will never know. I only wrote this, Just so you know.