Just weird feelin

i kno its about to start.... I feel a sadness in my heart No not again... i hate these days!! Breathing deeply an tellin myself its ok... dont help this cronic anxiety go away!! The drive to shop is the worst... Negative thoughts is what i hear first!!! Walking in is even harder.... I walk so fast till i cant walk any faster!! Quickly grab what i think i need... To the check out i proceed Hopeing nobody notices me..... Invisible is what i wish i could be !!! Yes its all done... Heading to the doors so fast its kinda like a run!! Now get to the car quick as u can.... No no not a car i have to stop n stand this even makes sweat drip from my hand Finally in tha car.... Home isnt far!! Gripping my stearing wheel... Till nuckles turn white!!! Nearly hyperventilating.... Like i have just come from a fight!!! I hate public places.... Especially looks from unknown faces!! When i get home I head straight for my bong... Put on music listen to my song !!! Start to calm down...The anziety starts to drown !!