Just Like You

Look at me.

What do you see?

A confident, talented,

Feared young woman who’s fighting

Her way to victory?

Or how about a snob,

A brute?

An egotistical sham whose

Pride makes her abrasive and

Incapable of taking a joke?

Is that what you see

When you look at me?

Then good.

I’ve done well.

You see, I act like this for a reason.

There’s a method to my madness,

And all you who’ve been duped by it

Have only seen what gladness

What joy, what peace,

What self confidence

That I have found appropriate to show.

I’ve learned to hide.

I’ve mastered the portrayal

Of having it all together

Of having enough wind in my sails.

And my callous, self righteous appearance

Is all a facade,

Covering what lies beneath that’s been festering for an odd

Five years or so.

And people will ask me now

“Why do you act this way?”

And my answer from the first day?

“I don’t know.”

They think that they’ve broken through,

That they’ve seen my core.

But, in fact, it’s just me adding to the score

Of dry lies I have woven.

For I know that it’s true

that I know exactly why I act as I do.

I’ve only show weakness to one, maybe two.

And the rest?

Well, it seems that I’ve lost the ability

To act with kindness or sensibility.

Any semblance of human connection

Is lost on me.

Because on the outside, I’m diamond hard

But on the inside, I scream “help me!”

It’s a lost cause now, though, I can never go back.

I’ve trained myself too well,

I’ve become my act.

And it’s a shame, because I know that

There are others like me.

Who can’t truly talk anymore

Because to speak is blasphemy.

We’ve harden our hearts

To protect our sanity.

But in truth, we’ve built a cage

For ourselves, in reality

We’ve trapped our hearts when we

Need help the most

And prevented the world

From seeing the ghost

Inside us all.

Of who we are,

We don’t know.

Our minds screech “help!”

But your faces shout “no!”

In this way, we’re the unlucky ones

The people you won’t suspect,

Because we are “happy”

How could we possibly know regret?

Or self hate?

Or Sadness?

We are free, so it could never be true.

Because on the outside.

We all look

Just like

You.