Justifying Abandonment

There’s a bend in the road,

Out in the country- home.

There are green pastures,

And trees filled with life,

And summer rain.

The way the sky

Is pigmented to perfection

And collides on the horizon of green

Cause me to forget:

The heaviness in my chest,

You and your decisions,

The pressure of succeeding,

All of my failures.

The horizon and the green

Causes such serenity

That being anywhere else

While I am broken,

Tarnished,

Fragmented,

Is just insanity.

But I turn away from comfort.

I do not park the car in paradise,

Or drive till it ends.

I continue on to my life,

Filled with endless tasks,

Recurring pain

And worry that I feel I cannot escape.

I run from paradise

Because everything that is whole and good,

Cannot possibly last around me.

Paradise is no rival to you,

So please understand:

This is why I leave you.