Kayaking Journey

It is a cold summer night in northern California where my family has traveled to celebrate my brother’s wedding. The crisp ocean air brushes my face, as I am filled with excitement and joy. My sister and I drag kayaks to the rugged ocean shore, awaiting to ride amongst the vast ocean waves. As I was strapping myself into the kayak, I look onto the rock cliff above and lock eyes with my mom. In this moment of adrenaline and excitement, I completely disregard my mother’s worries. I try my best to give her a look of reassurance as she sits in her nest of purple ocean flowers amongst the cliff.

As I ride farther into the waves ,beside my older sister, I find myself drifting farther and farther out of my mother’s eyesight. I can sense her worry even hundreds of meters away. As I ride back from the intimidating waves, I notice my mother’s face relax. I am overwhelmed with happiness and guilt. Guilt from concerning her and happiness from the liberating experience amongst the vastness of the ocean.

And in this mix of emotions, I meet my mother on the shore. I decide that she is the one person I want to be with, in the majestic presence of the Pacific Ocean. Somehow, I convince my mother to join me on a Kayaking journey. She brushes aside her fear of the waves and decides to give it a try.

As we kayak together, I look at my mother. I sense her anxiety. I sense her nervousness. But most of all, I sense her joy.  She states, “You know, I really didn’t want to do this”. And I reply “Of course you do!”. Because we both know, neither of us would trade this moment for the world. And in that moment, I swear that we are the only people in the world.  And in that moment, just for a little while, we are the only existence in the world. The ocean. My mother. And I. No words are needed. No words could translate our happiness and contentment. We learn to trust the ocean, not to fight against it. We both learn that no one can change the waves but that the waves can change us. We both learn to coexist.