Kinda Black
One
My second grade teacher once told me I was pretty for a black girl.
I asked my mother as she smeared pink blush onto her pretty white cheeks
Why I wasn't pretty like the other girls.
Two
In fifth grade a classmate told me I wasn’t technically black because my dad was black and my mom was white.
So I was only half black.
When they didn’t include me in their group I wondered if that meant I was only half the person.
Three
In middle school everyone would glance at me during the units on slavery or civil rights,
Like I was supposed to be mad because, well I was black,
and they were white.
Four
I was the only black girl in my advanced level classes.
My science teacher was surprised the first day she saw my curly hair,
As if I didn’t belong in there.
Five
I realized the color of my skin wasn’t something all boys like
because, “I’m just not into black girls” and
“I just don’t find black girls attractive”.
Six
I realized that I was a fetish
Seven
Are you gay because boys just aren’t into you?
Eight
You’re not really black, are you?
Nine
They put their hands in my hair.
Ten
They didn’t ask.
Eleven
Why didn’t they ask?
Twelve
Because apparently I was a novelty.
Thirteen
“I could go for a girl like you,”
Thirteen
“Your skin isn’t too dark and I’d love to pull on those curls.”
Thirteen
Not even black
Thirteen
Not.
Even.
Black
One
In second grade my teacher told me I was pretty for a black girl.
I didn’t believe her.
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