The Kitchen Floor

You come home and slowly close the door,

The smile you had on slowly fades away,

You stand there for a while,

Unable to move,

Unable to breathe,

Suddenly you fall back,

The door supports you,

But you feel it,

The emptiness,

The sadness,

The hole in your heart that starts to grow again.

You take a deep breathe,

Calming yourself down is an illusion,

No one is home,

You are alone

You can hear the birds outside,

The neighbors fighting,

The sound of shoes on the pavement,

The rustle of the leaves hitting the window,

The grass,

The car,

The pain and emptiness has started to take over,

You are no longer you,

Command your legs to move,

Left, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right

You keep commanding until you reach your kitchen,

There is it safer,

No one can hear you,

No one can see you,

You let yourself fall to the floor,

Sweat turns to glue,

Sticks to your clothes,

Sticks to the floor,

A tear forms,

Blink it away,

Another one forms,

Then another one,

And another one

They are no longer drops,

but streams of tears,

Your try to fill your mind with static,

It’s better to be numb than to be a victim,

But you are too late,

You are always too late,

The darkness in you has already seen you weak,

Surpress the sobs from inside,

But they just come out muffled,

A voice,

A whipser,

A small devil,

It forms simple words,

Then they grow more complicated,

Stringing words together,

Stupid, useless, dumb, unwanted,

You’re too complicated,

you’re too much drama,

Stupid, useless, dumb, unwanted,

No ones can ever love you,

No one can ever know who your truly are

Stupid, useless, dumb, unwanted,

What is wrong with you?

Why are you like this?

Stupid, useless, dumb, unwanted,

Repeat,

Repeat,

The hour turns on the stove clock,

Kids laughter come in from the inside,

A car zooms by,

But nothing penetrates the hurricane inside,

So you stay still,

Paralyzed,

This is your home, 

This is where you belong

On the Kitchen Floor