K.M.E.

i hope you see me like a ghost in your head

i stand as a figure at the end of your bed

and there is no penitence, no solitude, no emptiness from the voices that call

and there is no weakness, no room to cry, no failure in these white-padded halls

you are the one small carabiner latched on to the thread of my gown

you’d ask if i’m okay, just take care, just get away, avoid the comedown

and there is no access, no alibi, no space for me inside of your heart

and there is no reason, no warning sign, don’t ask me why when i fall apart

is this for the best or something else, am i really still here?

is this all a joke to watch me choke, watch me drown in my fear

don’t talk me down when i get to the top, is this really all for me?

don’t pull me out of this pit, it’s the only way i’ll hear your voice now

cold arms in lecture halls, it’s killing me to know that when i get out you’re gone

i come home to empty hands, you hold them up, you say to me “i’m sorry, i’m done”

and there is no goodbye, no warm embrace, just let me go to fight on my own

and there is no new start, no other day, won’t meet again, no calls to my phone

"are you safe to go home tonight?

do you want to talk to me about what’s on your mind?

can i trust you to stay safe tonight?

have you made a plan?"

is this for the best or something else, am i really still here?

is this all a ruse to short my fuse, shut me down when you’re near

don’t talk me down when i get to the top, this was never all for me

don’t pull me out of this pit, i want to hear your voice