Crying holding my head in my lap Gain enough strength and end up falling back Unknowing of where I am and then realizing I've fallen into Black Not speaking on my Melanin ’cause the complexity of that is something you lack I'm speaking on a pain, an abyss, a void, a hurt, "The Huge Smack" Not just physically because I convinced myself I pushed past all that It’s a Mental hurt that seems to attack like a savage wolf pack A constant widening, which never finds time to contract And no I haven't gotten over it but I’ve seemed to find a hack A protective system for my heart, an anorak Something to save my heart from “The Big Crack” Something where I can breathe again and stop this everlasting asthma attack And I don’t need you speaking on it, I definitely don’t want your feedback Because doing anything differently seems to feel like I’m being run over by Cadillac Seems to hit harder than an ax in the clutches of lumberjack It invites the hurt, makes it palpable, Then the pain and I end up playing a game of piggyback A game so intense it results in my eternal hunchback I cover the worst with the happy like kids of poverty in the street playing jump rope and knickknack Rehashing the time with my Grandma the moments of which is Kodak And though it may not seem very grown up of me & for a young adult of my age it may even seem wack But this is how cope so that the pain doesn’t fall out of me like a memorized soundtrack Because I have no intent of drowning it with a flammable liquid delivered in a six-pack I do it, so they can’t stereotype me like the signs of the zodiac  So be patient with me while I get my life back on track  And try to recover from the major setback