Knowledge of the Unknown

September 30, 2019

Crying holding my head in my lap

Gain enough strength and end up falling back

Unknowing of where I am and then realizing I've fallen into Black

Not speaking on my Melanin ’cause the complexity of that is something you lack

I'm speaking on a pain, an abyss, a void, a hurt, "The Huge Smack"

Not just physically because I convinced myself I pushed past all that

It’s a Mental hurt that seems to attack like a savage wolf pack

A constant widening, which never finds time to contract

And no I haven't gotten over it but I’ve seemed to find a hack

A protective system for my heart, an anorak

Something to save my heart from “The Big Crack”

Something where I can breathe again and stop this everlasting asthma attack

And I don’t need you speaking on it, I definitely don’t want your feedback

Because doing anything differently seems to feel like I’m being run over by Cadillac

Seems to hit harder than an ax in the clutches of lumberjack

It invites the hurt, makes it palpable, Then the pain and I end up playing a game of piggyback

A game so intense it results in my eternal hunchback

I cover the worst with the happy like kids of poverty in the street playing jump rope and knickknack

Rehashing the time with my Grandma the moments of which is Kodak

And though it may not seem very grown up of me & for a young adult of my age it may even seem wack

But this is how cope so that the pain doesn’t fall out of me like a memorized soundtrack

Because I have no intent of drowning it with a flammable liquid delivered in a six-pack

I do it, so they can’t stereotype me like the signs of the zodiac

So be patient with me while I get my life back on track

And try to recover from the major setback

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