that L word

The truth is... I don’t know what love means. Seriously. What is this thing we humans call "love"? Google says its "a complex set of emotions, behaviors, and beliefs associated with strong feeling of affection, protectiveness, warmth, and respect for another person." What does that even mean? How are you supposed to know that you are feeling this such thing as love, rather than it just being a substitute to your loneliness. I really thought I knew what love feels like. In reality, I was just another teenager flipping through the pages of the book of life. Experiencing the highs & lows of my young age. Reminiscing the lows, wishing they were highs. Wishing the let downs and heartbreaks didn't hurt as bad as they did... and sometimes still do. I know I'm still young, and trying to figure things out for myself. But why wont my heart understand that as well. It makes me upset, knowing my source of happiness comes from making others happy. Does it make me unsympathetic not needing the same happiness from another person? Being perfectly fine not having that one person I'm supposed to go to when things get hard? How does that make any sense. Why don't I feel like a normal person. I want to feel that sensation. Ya know, the one where you get butterflies just thinking about them. While they reciprocate the same feelings. That my friend is the dream. Is that how I feel love? Possibly. I wouldn't know that feeling.