La Douleur Exquise

Dear whiskey,

I remember the way I felt the first time you held me

You saw my face and asked the worst question, "Are you okay?"

I most certainly was not and so immediately the water works began.

Since then I've never seen you get up so quickly. 

I dont remember falling but I remember us kneeling, my head in your chest.

The silliest things come into your head when crying.

I know because I worried about getting you wet.

You grabbed my face then.

Told me you loved me and that I was enough for you. Forever. That I could not lose you

I believed you. I still do. You've given me no reason not to.

After that I saw you differently.

I grew to love your cigarette smoke and glasses full of brown. 

Your tattoos weren't so menacing and your cockiness became endearing.

When you kissed me the first time it was messy.

The second, calculated and perfect.

I told you I could never love you. Obligation I suppose. 

To you I am important, but not priority.

Can you tell that kills me?

Thousands of words have been dedicated to you.

Are you flattered or unbothered?

You told me the other day that everything could be different

That it could be us instead of them

Do you know how mny times I will imagine that world now?

Now that you've opened my eyes?

But I guess I always knew. 

After that first time you held me.

Sincerely,

Yours.