For lack of a better word

When I look at you... You make me feel... For lack of a better word.... Insecure. Like everything about my existence was suddenly damned to be exiled by the judge that is your eyes. Like suddenly I was guilty of being the flawed and broken human that I know I am, and know that forever I will be. Like everything in my proximity has to be pristine or else my entire being is tarnished. When I look at you... You make me feel... For lack of a better word... Anxious As if one wrong move could bring the world crashing down upon itself. As if even an uncertain whisper from my lips could cause time itself to suspend in the moment of tragedy, watching as every regretted syllable sets my skin on fire, letting the agonizing sensation run through my veins and setting my inside ablaze. When I look at you... You make me feel... For a lack of a better word.... Mute Like every word that could have escaped my lips existed no longer. Like the millions of things I want to scream to the world suddenly faded into nothing. Like every word that was and ever will be are now lost to the sands of time as each moment passes. Even if I wanted to, even if I tried, all that would come out is silence But even after all of that.... When I look at you... You make me feel... For lack of a better word....... Happy.