Lacking Love from Within (Internalized Racism)

We are not born with the inclination to hate But throughout the years, we still develop those traits Not because we’re callous but because we’re taught to be that way I’m in the field; she in the house; but we still both slaves And she, just like I, has bought into the lie That being Black means you’re inferior Cause being great means you’re White Still, I take it all in Stride As pieces of me are chewed up from the inside I sigh as she spits judgment out at me like pieces of old gum And I begrudgingly hold my tongue until I go numb Because I can only be silent for so long You see, those hate slurs made me weak but them cotton fields made me strong But she… she looks down on me. Because her more European features have bumped her up to house slave As the eternal summer suns blaze, on my African Queen skin, I catch a glimpse… of the house master say I can’t step my ashy black feet in And I can do nothing but just watch… as she hangs her head low ‘Cause I finally realize… that neither one of us really love ourselves She hangs her head because her skin is too pale But not pale enough to escape the expectation of having to cook some White man’s dinner, birth some White man’s baby, or be called some White man’s nigger But see me… I rock a different shame Each day, I nurse the open wounds from all the closed minded generations that came before me I limp from the chopped off feet of every forefather trying to make a better way for his children And we are all… God’s children We have one race, many faces, many mothers, but one Father Many scars, many lashes, many bruises, but one blood Red blood… that same red blood that leaks from her face when master beat her just like he beat me Still, somehow, she looks down on me because she can’t look past my African Queen skin to see beauty And once my mental silence breaks, I want to tell her… that her Mulatto skin makes her half beast But since White people are so dominant, that means she didn’t inherit that trait from people who look like me I want to tell her that if the hatred for yourself is big enough You walk around making others feel small You take lands that don’t belong to you You take Goldilocks rests in beds with other people’s names on it And you feel… like it’s just right. Because you’re just White But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again If you’re only half White, that means you’re still half kin That means you’re still half coon, and you’re still half nigger… And I bet that makes the hatred for yourself grow bigger See you… externalize hatred but you internalize racism Which puts you in the exact same boat as me Matter of fact, the exact same slave ship… ‘cause neither one of us free But enough about you This is about me I am an alien in this land that they call free You see… this is not my home Because back where I come from, I was a Queen But they’ve abused me, reused me, recycled, and reduced me Down to nothing more than a peasant And though my beauty is ever present, 400 years later, it still gets misread Because this nation loves golden locks; but it hates my dreads And my husband… His name used to be Kunta But they told him his name was Toby for so long that he believed them He says “Yes master” before they even ask a question He has open fields but he won’t even run away Because his closed mind, doesn’t realize… he’s a slave “Yellow boned” and “red boned” has replaced “House slave” and “field slave” And “you’re cute for a dark skinned girl” is such a commonly uttered phrase But what does that even mean? There’s so many divisions of Black people that we can no longer hear the screams Of the men, women, and children who bled to build a country for men, women, and children who don’t even look like us. Who silenced us. Who told us that we aren’t good enough They took us from our country Made us build theirs And then told us to go back where we came from But most of us, no longer even know where we came from ‘Cause in this new world of new growth We’re trying to dye our roots Not because we’re ashamed but because we no longer know the origin or truth Calling each other “nigger” like that’s synonymous with “friend” But my friend… we are not born with the inclination to hate So throughout the years, if we still develop those traits It’s not because we’re callous but because we’re taught to be that way And you; just like I, have bought into the lie That being racist is a nature left only to the Whites But my African Queens… and my Light Skinned beauties… Before you look for racism, within the eyes of anyone else Take a step back, and re-examine yourself