langston Hughes' Bitch

When I rewind the tapes that hold my memories...

The bulky gray rectangles flapping with a magnetic ribbon

Buzzing softly  inside, two concentric circles wrapping around 

the past and the past future

...I get frustrated because it all seems so simple

Think about it  man

everything I see reminds me of what I once thought I wanted to be

I hid behind a camera and I was rude

I thought I wanted to pile up boxes and boxes of tapes

like Mr. Brainwash in that ...banksy film....

I wanted people to be amazed at how well I remembered-

or maybe how well I clung to the past
 

I really don't need that though

I spent enough time just.. like.. lyinggggggg

to myself and not even acknowledging it until it was too late

I just neeed to like.. fucking just like,, beeeee myseffff you knowwwww

I don't have to suck you know

Like

I can not do that sometimes

I sucked enough already so that's done man

\

whatever ttouhgh

here I am!!!! This is me!!!!!! This is my cute ass!!! I'm 

way happier now just chasing dreams and tail and cars and everything i can

good for me

I loosened up and stopeed crying every night

Thats ##ME##