Last Christmas

Last christmas holds a weird place in my heart. Somewhere between love and hate. Somewhere in between wanting to remember and forget. When he came into my life I was crumbling under the surface. I had been fighting the water for so long. He gave me a little hope and for that I am grateful. Though the feeling was only short lived I felt the best I had in months. Though the lights were off at home, they were on in my heart. I think about him still every once in a while. Sometimes I want to be bitter, but I can't. Instead I'm left wondering about what could've been had I met you first.