Last Dose Of Intoxication

It wouldn't have mattered if you dropped your ashes on my shoes
Despite the smell of your cigarette 

Or to have drown in your cup of vodka as long as I was your last dose of intoxication

It's intense...
And It's way to complicated...
And over all It's consuming....

You're waiting to be corroded 
By your absolute poison 

I utter, after lighting up your cigarette 

I stutter... 

I can't help it I don't want to see you fall in the pit of it 
I can't pull you out I'm not that energetic 

And yet this feeling im having is to enigmatic 

And it's only cause I can't 
Get you to quit...
I can't get you to see that you're more than this ...

I love you but I can't manage 
Nor stand the sight of you
But I can't help but wait up every night for you ...

Im dreading the day when you dont walk through that front door 

My head starts to hurt
And my chest becomes numb...
My mind starts racing

And I guess this is were we finally became one...

Because Your head starts to hurt 
And your chest becomes numb
And Your mind starts to race
When you don't have your drug...
Only when you don't have your drug...

Why can't I be your drug...
Why can't I be that liquor in your cup ?
Why I can't be the nicotine in your cigarette ?
The weed to your blunt ?

Why can't you love me as much ?

And it's sucks cause ill crush up the weed for you. 
And whats worst ill pass you that white stuff that makes your nose bleed too
And Hand you your bottle and sit there and tell you I love you...
Knowing damn well I'm the one whose helping to kill you 

And i don't know what to do... 

Cause no matter how hard I pray I still end up being a slave to you. 
And while you sit there and willingly take your lethal dose of comfort
I sit as an accomplice ...

My words mean nothing and neither does me walking out that door. 

I can only sit here and write my final goodbye cause my words only fall on deaf ears that leads to a dead soul...
I'm hoping what's left of you can take this love I poured out for you on this paper into your next life. 

I refuse to sit here and kill two birds with one stone...
If I can't save you imma save myself so I can save others..

I dont want anyone to know what it feels like to kill the one they love...

Because they think they are in love... 

When in all reality its the drugs that alter our perception of love.

You were my drug
And it sucks that I wasn't yours...
We were made for each other 
There was nothing more I could ask for. 
You needed your comfort I guess I wasn't enough...
You feening for that fix 
And me needing just a hit of your love...
We were both addicted...
And there was no fixing 
Us....