Last Words

To those who watched as I:
1. Withered away
     A hollow shell
    Echoing nothing
    But the frail beat of my heart
2. Became the darkness nibbling at my soul
    As if savoring every bite
3. Carved every insecurity out of my being
     Letting it flow thick, red, and warm down the planes of my body
     Burning my ice cold flesh
4. Was beaten awake by the beast known as
    insomnia
5. Wrote encoragement on every inch of
   exposed skin
   Praying that ink poisoning would kill me
   Before the razor blade
   I kept gripped tightly in my hand
   Could "slip" out of my grasp
   And slice vertically down my wrist
   All the while reading th words
   That reminded me what it was to smile
6. Paced the darkened halls of my house
   mumbling to the voices degrading me in my
   head
  You waking up to my screams
  " I am worth it"
  " My life matters"
  "Someone out there cares"
7. Became angry
    Pure rage
    Spewing from my busted lips
     Like swords of the romans
     Piercing through the hearts of those who "love" me
8. Grew despondent
    Becoming the "poster boy" of apathy
    Losing every hope I ever held
    Dousing the fire in my eyes
    With salt water tears
9. Filled you with false hope of a better
    tomorrow
    As I stared unblinkingly " into the future"
    Only to have you find out
    That the only "future" that I see is the end
10. Had "good" days
      Smiling, laughing, and joking
      Yet one misstep
      Souring my entire disposition
      Confounding you
      Because you didn't understand
      That when you lie to yourself so adamantly
      That even you believe
       If only for a little while
       Deceiving others is a piece of cake

To those who watched as me die long before I ever reached the grave
With a genuine smile on my face
My dying breath
And the last of my strength
I will wipe your tears
And whisper
"Cry no more tears for me"