Last words

To those who watched as I: 1. Withered away A hollow shell Echoing nothing But the frail beat of my heart 2. Became the darkness nibbling at my soul As if savoring every bite 3. Carved every insecurity out of my being Letting it flow thick, red, and warm down the planes of my body Burning my ice cold flesh 4. Was beaten awake by the beast known as insomnia 5. Wrote encoragement on every inch of exposed skin Praying that ink poisoning would kill me Before the razor blade I kept gripped tightly in my hand Could "slip" out of my grasp And slice vertically down my wrist All the while reading th words That reminded me what it was to smile 6. Paced the darkened halls of my house mumbling to the voices degrading me in my head You waking up to my screams " I am worth it" " My life matters" "Someone out there cares" 7. Became angry Pure rage Spewing from my busted lips Like swords of the romans Piercing through the hearts of those who "love" me 8. Grew despondent Becoming the "poster boy" of apathy Losing every hope I ever held Dousing the fire in my eyes With salt water tears 9. Filled you with false hope of a better tomorrow As I stared unblinkingly " into the future" Only to have you find out That the only "future" that I see is the end 10. Had "good" days Smiling, laughing, and joking Yet one misstep Souring my entire disposition Confounding you Because you didn't understand That when you lie to yourself so adamantly That even you believe If only for a little while Deceiving others is a piece of cake To those who watched as me die long before I ever reached the grave With a genuine smile on my face My dying breath And the last of my strength I will wipe your tears And whisper "Cry no more tears for me"