Lather, Rinse, and Repeat.

Every time i filter one of my selfies, I exchange the real me for an illusion me.

I exchange beauty marks and skin texture, for skin that's unnaturally smoothed with an app and makeup

I exchange my skin pigment for a brighter one.

It's my picture so i should be able to exchange a background of what is going around me, for a blurred background so you can only focus on my features, right?

I trade dark colored lips, for pink ones.

I exchange never feeling confident with a smile that shows my teeth, then being free and showing the gap that my edited pink lips hide.

In exchange for my idea of a perfected me, I exchange the ability of being able to go bare faced because of the illusion of me I post online.

Turning my face to an angle so that my nose looks smaller, I in return get insecurities about taking a picture facing directly the camera because of my bulbous nose. 

The real me has a gap tooth, moles, blemishes, and dark lips. The real me is exotic but simple. The unfiltered, bare faced me, is someone who has learned that my features make me an individual.

The real me knows that smooth skin, pink lips, and a small nose are extremely common. To be expected of.

The real me is exotic and foreign. The real me knows all of this! 

And yet I continue to apply all these things, for that moment of confidence and for those likes and comments. Which leaves me to doubt the real me, I exchanged a moment of confidence for weeks of low self esteem. Which causes me to post another illusion picture of me, and hide insecurities that are ridiculous to even have.

Lather, Rinse, and Repeat.

Without filters, camera angles, and makeup the real me is insecure and fighting to gain my confidence back.