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Laura's Back


My eyes were diverted

my mind taken back

Her presence upon me

her breath an attack

 

There’s no sense in running

with no place to hide

Although rare in the daylight

her message alive

 

My pen comes out quickly

and drawn like a sword

Each word spoken plainly

and pointed toward

 

My life now a capsule

exploding like hail

Her light towing prescience

the comets new tail

 

Last phrases are written

my senses return

I feel her leave slowly

my pen it still burns

 

I look down at the page

to see what I wrote

The handwriting foreign

familiar once spoke

 

“Your life but a dream

between wisps of my breath

“Once spoken inside you

beyond life — and then death”

 

(Villanova Pennsylvania: April, 2018) 

©All Rights Reserved

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▾ This Poem's Voice

Your Poem's Voice

PersonalThemeAbstract

Personal encounter elevated through philosophical abstraction about existence, dreams, breath

SparseMeasureDense

Multiple interconnected ideas: desire, writing as weapon, transformation, identity, mortality

DarkSentimentBright

Mixed: intense attraction and creativity tempered by loss, disorientation, philosophical dread

StillEnergyExplosive

Dynamic verbs: diverted, attack, drawn like sword, exploding, towing; urgent movement throughout

MicroLengthEpic

32 lines across 8 quatrains; substantial but not expansive

PlainFigurativeOrnamented

Rich metaphor: pen as sword, life as capsule, comet's tail, dream between breaths

LyricVoiceDramatic

Lyric voice increasingly inhabited by other's speech; final lines shift to dramatic persona/oracle

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