| Lead Me |

but in that moment, she knew.

she knew that if she would just close her eyes & whisper "lead me" then she'd be free.

free from the pain. free from the destruction. free from the disappointment. free from the ideas of never being good enough. free from the chains & weights that kept her from seeing from His point of view.

that He's been asking,

 "don't you understand your worth, my beloved?"

"can't you see My hand, oh precious one?"

she never even realized that it'd been reaching out in front of her all along. 

He only wanted her to grab hold of it. to cling to it.

that He, in those still moments, was saying, "let me lead you where your trust is without borders"

but could she hear Him over the static? did she even try to?

& yet He wouldn't relent.

no, He couldn't relent.

she was His. He longed for her.

      all of her. 

so why would she keep holding back?

constantly pouring herself into people & things that would just turn around to fail her & leave her feeling broken.

she didn't understand why. she didn't get that she would never be satisfied with them.

she didn't understand that no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much she gave, no matter how long she smiled, there would always be something to knock her back on her knees again.

but was that all that bad? after all, that is where she remembered who never fails her. who can lift her up once more. who sees her for who she is, that is fearfully & wonderfully made.

once she was back on her feet again however, she was always quick to forget the One who got her there.

but no more, she cried.

she would not hold out any longer.

she could not deny this Divine romance.

& why would she want to? He has given her breath, life, awe, wonder, beauty, color, melody, majesty.

everything she enjoys has been set there for her as a glimpse of the glory that she will partake in when He returns for her, His bride.

now all He asks is that she would be waiting. waiting for Him with open arms & an expectant heart.

does she wait? is she expectant?

or does she get too caught up with the idea of being noticed?

"wait," He says, "& I will strengthen your heart"

so she waits.

& waits.

& waits.

& she gets tired of waiting.

she gets tired of seeing the people who are close to her finding everything they want in life. finding who they want to be. finding "the right guy". even finding His voice.

she was tired.

but how could she see what He was trying to show her when her eyes weren't even looking at Him?

 

& so she did it. she closed her eyes & whispered "lead me".