a lesson in safe technique

what they teach you is how to tackle safely

"you're there to stop him. split his legs and keep your posture strong" - they told me: 

we think of our bodies as obstacles.

"even if they run you over, you still can bring them down.” - we speak of love in much the same way.

i use my body and heart as a weapon.

that is the order of things.

"know your size" they say. 

"know your worth" is spoken more quietly.

"you have to keep your head out of the tackle. get it on the right side of your man"

we speak of injuries how sailors speak of the storm. and we speak of love how the british speak of the blitz -

"get off your knees" i said "this isn't football. the right thing to do is to win this for him" - a cultural aversion to allowing for grief.

a national deafness to our ruptured tendons and our cries of pain.

what they teach you is to become a force -

"make the hit, you cant just wait for contact. create it" - learn how to be someone’s hurt for a change. break another’s spirit. 

these are all skills i have learned only in part,

and which i wish to forget.