Let Me Dream

Reality is a nightmare.

Every morning, I wake up from my dreams and I am greeted by ordinary, plain, and simple life. And I try and try to go back to sleep in order to enjoy that feeling of being far from reality.

But when sleep isn't enough, I like to enjoy a little smoking session outside.

The smoke fills my lungs, but eventually, I release it. After about ten minutes, I finish and clean up, and that dream-like feeling comes to me. It hits me like a very slow beat. It's as if someone was carefully laying bricks on my brain one at a time. For about five minutes, this feeling ensues until I am in total zen mode.

Chill.

I let go.

I free myself of my worries and become carefree.

I feel like I am walking in my dreams.

Whenever I close my eyes, my mind begins to wander. In my imagination, everything I think of feels real. If I am listening to music, I can picture the perfect music video to go along with it and see myself as the main character in the video. If I am laying in bed and feeling my body sensually, I can pretend to have best sex with my girlfriend and every detail of it can feel like the real thing. Even the most boring tasks around the house can become amazing.

I love this feeling.

This feeling of losing myself. 

After a while, the feeling begins to fade. My senses return, and I feel normal.

But to me, normal is boring. Depressing even.

I have to do it again. This is a habit.

It's hard for me to even hang out with friends because I'm not well acquainted with socializing. So, I smoke and it relaxes me. It lets me build up my confidence. It lets me see things for the way they really are. Paranoia could just be a side-effect, but whatever. The main point is that it lets my brain escape reality and enter my dreams again.

If only dreams were reality, and our lives were actually the nightmares.