Let Me Kill It Slowly

Look, I get it, miscarriage is hard, 

Especially for a mother, 

Please do not say I am selfish when I say this, 

But yeah,

It hurts,

I am not talking about the mother,

But for me,

A wasgoingtobe brother, 

You see, I am a single child,

So when my dearest mother said "congratulation, you're a brother", 

I cried,

Yes!

Finally!

I remember 3 months passed I could not wait for that little fucker to just pop out, 

But no,

God Almighty said no, 

He decided that someone else should have a kid, 

Not my mom, 

So yeah, it pisses me off when they say that a mother feels all the pain, 

Lies,

I felt the pain, 

If it was a girl, no guy would touch her as I would stand in front of her protecting her the rest of her life,

If it was  a boy, I would help him  sneak out the back door so he can visit his girlfriend at midnight while everyone is asleep, 

But its neither, 

All I got was false hope, and tears, 

So yeah I also feel the fucking pain, 

I do not want to sound selfish,

But its true, 

I just want to wrap my head around this whole idea of a miscarriage, 

So I can choke it to death