Let Me live

Let me live again Let me dream of how things were Let life be my grass I walk on Looking for a place to stay free (You still did this to me) Let me be the only thing I dream big dreams for Let my heart grow strong against love Where you could never last past the moment That many men crushed me daily (You were everything to me) Ugh, let my hands gently lift my hair Slowly pulling it back revealing my eye Black and blue among other colors that leak through But for some odd reason I just can’t let go (There’s never been happiness, Nor real love in this “stupid life”) Say, who are you that walk through my door? And who are you that draw me close to you? I am a young girl, clinging onto my hope Torn in two by hands of endless hurt Of beating, bruised, tormented, and confused Of pampered to fix! Of pampered to a way of being sorry! Of yelling from you! Of taking the pain! Of an act of love seen ever so not real Slapped back for being stupid because you too were there Yet won’t admit that you did this to me I am a young girl who lives in hell Visual tears tell me nothing more than pain Yet im the one to blame for this In the lifeless world where I was still me Who dreamt a dream so wrong, so long, so true That even if it was right In every light and window, in every corner of my room That’s made me stronger than any man Ugh, im a young girl who has walked alone In search of a lovely life that was meant to be For im the one who left to escape you And your hands, and your ugly lies, And tore myself free to stand where I can To build a “better life” Better life? Who said it was better? Not you? Surely not me? The millions of bruises? The millions of times I was shot down? The millions of lies that seeped out your lips? For everything was a dream And I believed the written words And I believed the looks And I believed that we would hang on The millions of nothings that lingered Except when it almost died Ugh let me live again The time was never meant to be— And yet must be—so the joke was on me The joke that you played in my mind—that you existed as everything—me Who stood for you. Whose tears and blood, whose love and pain Whose heart broke at the blows, whose sorrow left in the rain Must not have ever been enough Sure, call me stupid— The racing of my heart does not tire From those who live like rats on my life I must get back to being me Only me! Ugh, yeah I say it slowly Let me live again And yet I swear I cant— I will soon be! Out of the walls and shields I build up The hate and misery, and loneliness, and lies, I, the young girl, must break free The time, the heart, the fake smiles, the tears The pain pilled on top of piles— All, all the things ugly must go— And let me live again