Let You Go, Make You Stay

I let you go a little more each day
I guess it's better that way.
Losing you all at once bewilders my soul
Ripping away a part from a whole.
Hey, best friend
Thought I knew you so well
Our pictures have so many stories
To tell you I miss you just sits on the page like a small
Singular thing, with no action at all
I suppose I'd get more of an answer
From the ring of my voice
Against the wall.
(More than the answer I get
On your machine when I call.)
Left in your silence, all I do is speculate
And wait and wait and wait and wait.
Hey sunshine,
I miss your smile
And laying around for a while.
Your squeaky laugh when you were sick
Those ice cream days on the bayou
Toes in tar on the summer concrete
Understanding what you think
With just one look
And we sink
Into laughter we’ve never known before…
I wish I wasn’t still so sore
About that night you lied to me
So casually,
like you’d done it
before.
Now left in your silence, all I do is speculate.
If I saw you now I wouldn't know what to say
maybe "Who are you now? What is your name?"
I haven't yet found the paradox that
Mother Teresa talked about.
Embarrassingly,
I still stretch my fingers far
longing to be like the Hands that hold you where you are.
I'm sorry, bird.
It’s selfish, I know
To plant a seed in the ground
And force it to grow.
I push, you pull away.
I cannot make you stay.
I let you go a little more each day
I guess it's better that way.

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