the letter.

To who ever is listening, 

Its been a long time. Too long if I must say. 

The feelings have come again. 

I haven’t felt this way since the seventh grade. 

The feeling of being sad and happy at the same time. 

The music that used to help isn’t doing it anymore. I don’t know why to do. 

I just don’t think I feel truly happy like I used to. I just get excited.

I lied right through my teeth and straight to her face. 

She asked if I was happy, and I knew it was the basic feeling people get when they get a car for the first time but I just wasn’t I was excited thinking maybe I could be happy driving by myself. But I was also worried at the fact that anything could happen. 

That one day I could never see her face smiling at me again. 

That I wouldn’t see Jackson’s harmful tail wagging too fast when he looks at me coming through the front door. 

That I wouldn’t hear the laughter that surrounded me when I said something that was remotely true but I couldn’t tell anyone without the constant worry.

It scares me. 

No. 

It paralyzes me with pure fear when I think about it. The lack of emotion I feel. 

The lack of happiness. 

Don’t get me wrong. 

I have a great life. 

But theres always this burden of sadness that fills my heart. 

And I don’t know why.

Thank you for listening, whom ever you are. 

Sorry to pass my burden of sadness on to you. 

Without even realizing it you feel sad too.

Sincerely, Alexandria Henry