A Letter of Apologies

Dear me, or dear you?

I wonder who this is really to.

Will you ever see or read this?

Or maybe you will just not heed it

I’m sorry that I’m not the girl you used to know and see

I’m sorry that I turned from you

And switched to “better things”

It hurts me when they turned to say,

“That girl’s a bitch, just stay away”

I’m sorry that I lied to you

About how I felt inside

It’s eating me away

And I want to run and hide

I’m sorry that I made you scared and worry about me

I’m sorry that I pushed you out

So I didn’t have to see

I’m sorry that I stole from you

So I could get away

I’m sorry that I picked a price that I could never pay

I’m sorry that I cut you with words left astray

I’m sorry that I hurt myself

And covered it every day

And I’m sorry that you got a call from the counselor at school

Because someone noticed something that the others couldn’t construe

I’m sorry I never woke up that day

I had no idea it would be that way

You called me on the phone once more,

“Don’t take those pills”

I said to you

And in my head I also said,

“Don’t leave me before I leave you”

Because I don’t know what else to do.