A Letter of Desperation

Dear Dad,

Hey, it’s been awhile

But I just want to say that I miss you

That I just wanted to become worthwhile

That I just wish you could come to my rescue

It hurts to know that you’re gone now

It’s a strange feeling of emptiness that I want to bury

It’s a feeling of despair and desperation that I just can’t allow

I’m afraid that if I do, I’ll never become someone extraordinary

I guess I just wanted you to know

That I miss you so much

That I go through each day putting on a show

That I feel as if I’ll break away from a single touch

Though I have somehow made it this far

I’m afraid to keep on going

I’m afraid I’ll just become another person drunk at a bar

I’m afraid my heart will become incapable of growing

Sometimes I look into the mirror and ask the reflection

Where’s my father to protect me?

Where’s my father to guide me away from destruction?

Yet I know that you can’t answer this simple plea

But Dad, it’s been awhile

And I just want to say that my heart has this hole

That I just want my father there to walk me down the aisle

That the pain is covered in a numbness that covers my soul

At times, I wish that I wasn’t so invisible

I wish that I wasn’t so broken

I wish that this letter was more sensible

I wish I didn’t leave so many words unspoken

I miss you now and always,

Your Little Angel.