Dear Alexis Muñoz: You are a special friend to me. Even the way we met was special, it was after a soccer championship about two years ago. We were going with the flow. Everyone celebrated by throwing water at one another, and we met by throwing water at each other. On the bus ride home, we sat together and had a meaningful conversation. After that, we became good friends. You allowed me to become your place of refuge when you were struggling with the police or were having problems at home. When you had nowhere else to go, I was there for you and provided you a place to stay. Now it makes me sad to say that we don't talk anymore. If only it were like before, where everything seemed alright and we would never fight. What's done is done, but that doesn't change the love I have for you. People can call you a felon, but I can see the good in you. It’s like Tony to Monolo: “Chico it's all in the eyes.” When I looked into your eyes, I could see a lot of pain and everything you did on the streets was to maintain, but I could also see that other side of you that wanted to escape it and do good. Little did you know, I could also feel your pain, but I was too hesitant to let it show. The best I could do was be there for you, give you a shoulder to lean on, and some words of advice because I could relate. If I were to press rewind and look back at my struggles at 14, I witnessed many outbreaks of street violence. I turned to drugs and alcohol trying to numb my pain and forget about my problems. Running from the feds on location and missing school made me real fool who despised education. Some of the people I was most close with were gang members. Not knowing how much it would affect me, I followed their way of life. It seemed normal to me because I was surrounded by it; therefore, I became an outlaw myself. By the time I was 16, I made a life changing decision, paid my last visit to the courtroom, and learned my lessons through costly mistakes. Getting out the system wasn't easy with my violent tendencies, but it was possible with God's mercy. The life changing decision I made was to live a better life away from corrupting influences, dedicate myself to becoming a reformed individual, and extend my education. Most of my past associates didn't relinquish that way of life, and they were either killed or incarcerated as a consequence. It took a lot of self-reflection for me to realize if I really wanted to continue or leave that lifestyle. Why did I put my loved ones through so much worry if they didn't deserve it? For their sake and mine, I went to my local church and repented of all the despicable crimes I committed. It didn't make things right at first, but it was the start of my new and improved life. Escaping that style of life and finishing high school was extremely difficult, but I managed to do it. Believe me, I know what it's like when I look into your eyes, but I believe in you. I rather see you do good than locked away in a cell or hearing about you overdosing on drugs. To find that out, makes me blue, but I still pray for you. Hoping that God protects you from that thug life like He protected me. It'll just take time, but I know you can give it up like I did. Despite our disagreements in the past, if you ever need me, you know where to reach me. Our cessation of communication is still unclear to me. Several weeks have passed since we last exchanged words, but I still hope to see you soon. When I see you again, let's approach each other with a clean slate, only remembering the good in our friendship. I have much more to write to you, but I remain hopeful of seeing you soon, and then we will talk face to face. I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart.  Love, Ester Cruz