A Letter I Will Never Send

dear you,

the year is ending

i can feel how cold my hands are as i write this but

you already know how cold i am.

many people know me as the girl who,

two years ago,

was sad

and broken

and refused to love herself

or let anyone help her.

but i've tried to get better.

i've gotten help and

i've learned how to deal.

but i forgot to deal with the anger

that i have kept inside for so long

six months ago i was so messed up

i was a mess

i didn't know where i was going

or who i was

or what i was going to do.

all i wanted

was to go back

and be the girl i was 

before i got sad.

i want you to know that,

even at the end

as i fell apart, 

you always brought me sunshine

in my darkest hours

when we would talk

and talk

and talk 

abut nothing at all.

sometimes i think about those days

when things get bad.

those memories have saved me.

i love you.

-me