You are the embodiment of my self-doubt if it took the form of a black rabbit overdosed with caffeine that somehow got itself into a cage of white lions.
When I’m about to take a test, you’re there.
When literally anyone approaches me, you’re there.
Whenever I want to ask for even the smallest thing, you’re there.
Dear Anxiety, you’re there to remind me of every way everything can go wrong and how even the smallest mistake can make me relive my fears as if it was forgotten memories coming back
Punishment, isolation, failure, rejection showing themselves in imaginary polaroids and rain.
Dear Anxiety, you don’t know how to leave the past behind and only give me pain.
Whenever you show up, you let the elephant go from the corner of my mind to the center of my mind when I specifically want it tied to the corner.
Dear elephant, I’m not saying I hate you.
I’m just saying I would prefer it if you don’t weigh me down. Just thought I should say that.
You make it hard to even write this poem to you because I’m afraid that the people would think that I’m a girl with first-world problems.
I am a girl with first-world problems.
You’re the constant reminder that I’m alive because of how you make my heart beat out of my chest, but at the same time, you raise the question of “why are you even trying?"
Dear anxiety, with you around,
an explaination turns to a really bad emotional speech with run-on sentences and no breaths in between like a world without fences.
You make me watch my tongue, you make me trip on my own words, you make me forget the reason I even opened my mouth in the first place, you make me afraid to move.
I want to keep moving so I can help better people and myself. I want to be able to try new things and expand my cage to a world that I can say I live on, but I’m not saying I don’t want you there with me.
Dear anxiety, you give me safety and security in the dangerous world we live in.
You give me kindness and consideration to others. You give me professionalism and a reputation to hold.
When I accomplish something despite all of your signs to stop, you give me that sense of relief and accomplishment like never before. And it’s all because of you.
Although most wish to overcome you, I want to be friends with you. As of right now, you’re too demanding and fearful, but I wish to hold your hand so we can go through anything together.
Never forget you were and always will be a part of me.