A Letter to My Body
I’m sorry for how much I hated you
How I shattered glass to hide from your reflection
For the pain I put you through
The scars that now cover your hips and thighs
An array of silver lines that took forever to heal
I’m sorry for starving you
Pushing you to the breaking point
By purging everything leaving you with an empty shell
The countless times I’ve pushed my ribs apart
To try to escape and free myself
I’m sorry for the tear stains
Permanently etched into your cheeks
From the years I spent trying to bury my agony and pain inside you
For the black circles under your eyes
The restless nights I spent staring wide awake at the blank wall
I’m sorry that your brown eyes have lost their light
They are now dark, empty, and astray
That they no longer see color
But only strands of black and gray
In a world that’s already dark enough
I’m sorry for the years you spent carrying a blackened soul
You deserve more than this
I’m sorry I wasn’t better for you
You deserved love and kindness
Instead I almost broke you
I hope the scars will fade and your smile returns
That you will heal
And become whole once again
Maybe
One day I will find a home in you
And I hope
That day comes soon
-Stargazer
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