A letter to my dead dog

Penny penny penny penny penny,

I used to say your name over five times

just so I could get your full attention.

You would come floppy eared to my rescue.

Every time. 

I must have said your name dozens of times 

but last night you did not come to my bed.

Heart pumping. Head pounding. Palms perspiring. 

My voice could only manage a whisper.

Penny. Pen-

That is when I realized you were gone.

Dehabilitating. Suffocating.

So helpless during my panic attack.

You used to always rush to my bedside.

Every time.

So, Penny, here is my formal thank you.

Thank you for the countless nights of cuddles.

Thank you for loving me, your licks and all. 

Thank you for slaying all of my dragons.

I love you.