Letter to My Father

They say that with time comes healing, and when you factor in age, your wisdom is increasing. What chained my heart and mind for years without ease caused my positive look of you and relationships to steadily decrease. I couldn't understand your reason for retreating from the love of a daughter that couldn’t wait for our meetings. To the point where she went on a course to fill that void in men who played their games and left with no remorse. Embedding in her mind that she was the problem’s source. That if her father didn't want her, how could anyone ever come close? Years and years with this feeling that scared away most. Not loving herself because she felt there was nothing to love inside. Depression and pain that caused her to hide.

Time passed, and a cross in our paths brought us together for 3 months, which would be your last. The pain of your death softened the feelings I used to have. Seven years of anger, and one after you died, was how long it took for me to learn that you tried. Your actions were your way of protecting me, and coming back to my life was your apology.

As your birthday nears, my gift to you is this. That I understand your motives and my anger is now bliss. I never lost your love, it only grew stronger. I just wish our time together was a little bit longer. As I end this letter, know that I will never forget you. Your love, and this life lesson, has shaped the woman I'm growing into. So no matter what comes my way as I walk in this world…

Just know I will forever be a daddy's girl.